Traditional Pantos ... with a Scottish flavour!

Calamity Jeannie

Set in the Wild West, “Calamity Jeannie” is an action-packed panto with colourful characters and a strong story-line. Jeannie (the dame) and her father are terrorised by Stud Poker, the evil card-sharp who runs Stodge City with the ‘help’ of two incompetent outlaws, Tex Fritter and the Disco Kid. In an attempt to resolve the situation, Luke Good, the principal boy, sets off to find gold and a cure for the mad sheriff of Stodge City, Wild Bill Hiccup. His search takes him into Indian country, and after some strange adventures in the Whatacheek Indian Village, he returns to Stodge City for a ‘High Noon’-type climax, when justice triumphs at last. All the usual ingredients are included – audience participation, slapstick, magic and plenty of humour.

Click on link for photographs of Cockenzie Drama production in 2013

Published by Brown, Son & Ferguson

Snow White

In the Kingdom of Glenboak, we find Princess Snow White is being badly treated by her jealous step mother, Queen Verucca. The hapless King Pimpleheid is powerless to stop the Queen’s wicked plans which she hatches with the aid of Winklepicker, the Wizard. Clarty Carbuncle, the Palace housekeeper and her gormless twins, Wattie and Tattie Carbuncle, provide much of the humour along with the Palace jester, Mincy McSporran and the kitchen maid, Tumshie McTavish.

Prince Braveheart of Glencool wants to marry Snow White, but is distraught when she runs off into the forest to escape from Queen Verucca. For a while, Snow White is protected by the intervention of Fairy Flip-Flop who guides her to a cottage in the wood where the ‘tartan army’ gnomes look after her. However, the Queen has one last attempt to get rid of Snow White and she appears to have succeeded, much to the chagrin of the gnomes. All ends well with the arrival of the Prince and his search party. Senga the Sook, the Queen’s grovelling maid, and Growl the dog, are instrumental in bringing about a happy ending!

Published by Brown, Son & Ferguson

Jack and the Beanstalk

Jack Dumpling does his best to help his poor mother, Clootie, and his hapless brother and sister, Pimple and Dimple Dumpling to make ends meet. He thinks his luck has changed when he falls in love with Jill, Baron Boggin-Bogle’s daughter. However the Baron has other plans. Aided by his two enforcers, Frankie Fakebake and Permatan Pete, the Baron issues an eviction order to the Dumplings and forbids Jill from seeing Jack. In dire straits, Jack sells the family cow, Cuddle, but is duped by Giant Guzzle’s unscrupulous chefs, Butcher Bonecruncher and Basher the Tattiemasher. Jack ends up with only a bag of beans to show for his trouble. When Jill is captured and taken to Carcass Castle, the giant’s pad, Jack reaches rock bottom.

The magic milkmaids, Hairy Hulk and Dairy Mulk, come to his rescue. Miraculously, a giant beanstalk appears. Jack and his family go on a scary adventure to Carcass Castle and after a narrow escape, Jack slays the giant, saves Jill and everything come up roses for the Dumpling family!

Published by Brown, Son & Ferguson


The traditional story of Cinderella with all the familiar characters – the dashing Prince Charming, Dandini, the hilarious Swanky and Manky (the Ugly Sisters) and the unlucky-in-love Buttons. The addition of some very funny Scottish characters – King Airchie and Queen Isa of Caledonia, along with Fatchance and Naechance, the hapless Palace guards – injects a lot of humour. There is also much hilarity and action from Boab the Dug, the pet dog that Buttons keeps secretly in the Baron’s house.

Cinderella is relentlessly thwarted by her nasty step-mother, Baroness Soorface. Her father, Baron Henpecked, is such a wimp that he isn’t a great help! The baddies, Bella Botox and her apprentice son, Boris Botox, run a very dodgy beauty business and they create havoc throughout with their new gadget, the Botox Blaster.

Good, of course, triumphs in the end, helped along by Merrymunch, the Good Fairy who is brilliant at magic, but she does have an eating problem!

This is an upbeat version of a classic with lots of audience participation and good opportunities for acting roles and chorus involvement.

Published by Brown, Son & Ferguson